Sleep stories

Last night Husband and I are settling into bed when the following conversations takes place.
Him: "Can I spoon you?"
Me: "As long as you don't try to choke me out again."
He laughs.
(I will esplain in a minute)
Me: "For someone who was falling asleep on the couch 5 minutes ago I sure am wide awake now"
Him: "Me too"
5 minutes later...
He's snoring like a chainsaw while I debate the various merits of the new Starbucks remodel.
(I love insomnia)


2 nights ago....
Husband is spooning me and I'm just starting to finally drift off...
The next thing I know I'm jerked awake because Husband has just twitched violently in his sleep and has his arm wrapped around my neck.
(Apparently this phenomenon is called a myoclonic twitch, who knew)
I attempt to roll over but his grip isn't loosening...
Him: "I'm sorry"
Me: "Get off me"
Him: "I'm sorry"
Me: "Just get off me"
He finally rolls away
Him: "I'm sorry"
A few seconds of silence while I rearrange...
Him: "I'm sorry"

He, naturally, remembers nothing about this.
However, he was apparently very sorry about the whole thing.

Sleeping can be very perilous sometimes.

A classic from a few years ago...
Laying in bed trying to fall asleep (do you see a pattern here?)
Out of the blue Husband hums a tune in his sleep.
I swear.
I try not to wake him up but because I'm shaking so violently from trying to not laugh at him the whole bed is shaking and the following conversation takes place:
Him: "What's so funny?"
Me: *snort* "You were humming in your sleep!" *snort*
Him: "Stop being so weird."

As you can imagine he didn't remember a thing the next morning...

I love marriage.