Sleep stories

Last night Husband and I are settling into bed when the following conversations takes place.
Him: "Can I spoon you?"
Me: "As long as you don't try to choke me out again."
He laughs.
(I will esplain in a minute)
Me: "For someone who was falling asleep on the couch 5 minutes ago I sure am wide awake now"
Him: "Me too"
5 minutes later...
He's snoring like a chainsaw while I debate the various merits of the new Starbucks remodel.
(I love insomnia)


2 nights ago....
Husband is spooning me and I'm just starting to finally drift off...
The next thing I know I'm jerked awake because Husband has just twitched violently in his sleep and has his arm wrapped around my neck.
(Apparently this phenomenon is called a myoclonic twitch, who knew)
I attempt to roll over but his grip isn't loosening...
Him: "I'm sorry"
Me: "Get off me"
Him: "I'm sorry"
Me: "Just get off me"
He finally rolls away
Him: "I'm sorry"
A few seconds of silence while I rearrange...
Him: "I'm sorry"

He, naturally, remembers nothing about this.
However, he was apparently very sorry about the whole thing.

Sleeping can be very perilous sometimes.

A classic from a few years ago...
Laying in bed trying to fall asleep (do you see a pattern here?)
Out of the blue Husband hums a tune in his sleep.
I swear.
I try not to wake him up but because I'm shaking so violently from trying to not laugh at him the whole bed is shaking and the following conversation takes place:
Him: "What's so funny?"
Me: *snort* "You were humming in your sleep!" *snort*
Him: "Stop being so weird."

As you can imagine he didn't remember a thing the next morning...

I love marriage.

A foray into DIY

I made reusable dryer sheets.

I think I'm officially a hippie.

(and yes, the fabric has frogs, hearts and the word peace on there several times) 

(as if that surprises you) 

Idea taken from here 

I procured my baby wipes container from a friend.

The flannel I found on sale and it cost me a staggering $1.50

I grabbed a bottle of Ecover fabric softener. (because again, I'm a hippie)

Goggled the amounts needed (because even basic math is puzzling to me) and then fudged the numbers anyway. 

I'm happy to report that it has been deemed a success. 

It was a very exciting day. 

Especially because now a bottle of fabric softener will last me until the end of time. 

Hooray!

Joy

Pure joy is gathering up veggies from your garden for juicing...


I'm just saying...

Looking back

Yes, the one screaming her head off is yours truly.

11 long years have passed since that photo was snapped and I got the hell out of dodge.

(I may have been a little excited about the prospect.)

This past weekend Husband and I went back to my hometown for my mom's birthday. 

I like to joke that it's our annual pilgrimage to the place that spawned me. 

(He really should pay his respects to the town that shaped me into the bundle of crazy he fell in love with, I mean really.)

During our visit I pulled out my senior yearbook because I wanted to locate someone who claimed to have known me in high school. (That is a very long and awkward story) (Because I seem to forget people) (Apparently) After completing my tasks (and easing my guilt over not knowing someone who was a freshmen when I graduated) I started reading back over the things people wrote to me in the aforementioned yearbook.

That's when things got weird. 

I had no clue who most of the people were. These people who wrote long paragraphs about how wonderful I was and how much they'd miss me. The people who had scribbled their phone numbers and begged me to keep in touch.

"Growing up is hard on a friendship. There's no revelation in that." - Ann Brashares (Sisterhood Everlasting)

Until Facebook was invented I had absolutely no idea what my long lost former best friends were up to. (Well apart from what my mom would tell me when she ran into their mothers) (small towns are stifling like that) I'm not one of those people who looks back wistfully on their teen years so it never occurred to me that I should miss these people. I didn't attend my 10 year reunion because I had no desire. (Husband on the other hand was pissed that his class didn't have a reunion) Time is funny like that. The people who meant the world to me and I couldn't imagine not being in my life have faded into vague memories. Or have faded completely.

It's weird. This thing they call growing up.

Take it or leave it.

A few days ago one of my nearest and dearest friends and I were talking about the arrival of my birthday present.

I was gifted a set of mala beads from Two Golden Frogs on Etsy by this particular friend.
My whole fascination/interest was sparked by this blog.

The whole scenario lead to an interesting conversation about our individual personalities.

My friend has an "all or nothing" personality type which I admire because her devotion to a subject or interest is so intense that she becomes an expert. Her example, "I couldn't just be a christian, no, I had to be a missionary!"
Me? I'm the complete opposite. I think, for better or worse, my interest or devotion to a subject is limited to what I find useful or interesting and I tend to leave the rest. Some may call it flighty, I call it realistic. This is probably why I never did well with church. I use to feel bad about it but in recent years there's been a shift in my thinking.

Ever since I stumbled across Kris Carr I've started adapting my way of thinking about life, religion, health, & wellness. Her "take what works and leave the rest" approach has had me on friendlier terms with myself then ever.  Sometimes I think you just have to have someone else validate what you've known works for you all along.

For the time being I like to think of my birthday present as more of worry beads then prayer beads because that's what works for me, right now. It gives me a place to put my anxiety/fear/frustration and let go. Ideally I'd like to incorporate them into a regular meditation practice but first they have a greater purpose.

Or as I told my friend, "Rules smules... things only have what value you place in them. And besides they are pretty necklaces if nothing else."

Fail!

It started innocently enough...
I had finally gotten my cooking mojo back.
I had planned a veggie-licious black bean & mango quesadilla.
The instructions said to use the broiler.
I had to call Husband at work to ask if we even had a broiler and more importantly how to use it.
That should have been a sign.
The next thing I know I have flaming quesadillas.
Literally.

Thank god for old quesadilla makers.
Thank god for Husband who slammed the broiler back shut... while I just stood there shouting that dinner was on fire. 

This is why I should not be allowed in the kitchen. 

It's not always easy...

Being someone who worships at the temple of all things veggie isn't always easy. Especially when almost everyone around you still thinks meat is the only real source of protein available. Over the years I've learned to deal with the snide remarks and funny looks. I've learned to adapt most restaurant menus to my needs and work around social situations that aren't veggie friendly. Sometimes though things happen that leave me at a loss for words or worse in tears.
So what's a girl to do when my armor is pierced and all that hard work is shattered?
I haven't got a clue.
The thing is, I'm an extremely timid person who has learned to fake being out-going and charismatic. I avoid confrontation and I'm always trying to make nice.
However, I don't know what would heal this particular incident. I feel like I've tried to be as adaptable as is possible and the whole thing is being viewed as me being difficult.

For the record, I'm not a vegetarian because I enjoy being difficult. I'm a vegetarian because I don't like the taste of meat and because I'm horrified by factory farms. I'm a vegetarian because it's what feels right in my soul.

I don't judge the people around me for eating meat. I respect their decisions. I don't beat them over the head with my beliefs or expect them to live their life like I do. I just wish they could afford me the same respect.

Mish Mash...

Last week Husband took some vacation time so that we could properly celebrate our anniversary.
(I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that he needed to burn some vacation time since his deployment to Korea was cancelled... Right?)
It was fantastic. We never even left town. Let's review the highlights shall we?

On our actual anniversary we ate nachos, took a nap, had take-out pizza & worked on a puzzle of the Taj Mahal. Who knew it was possible to feel competitive about puzzles? In my case... it's very possible.

On Monday we visited the zoo and I got sunburned. We go approximately every 2 years and I always get sunburned. You'd think I'd learn my lesson but no, I never do. I was annoyed that the poison dart frogs were M.I.A., again. The one thing I really look forward to and they are always off breeding or something. Oh well.

Tuesday was the long-anticipated Foo Fighters concert.

Best. Night. Ever!

It was 2.5 hours of pure awesomeness. The acoustic section of the encore was so amazing. I will forever be a devoted fan. (and for the record I have loved them ever since Big Me premiered on MTV a million years ago)

(In my opinion a concert can really make or break my love for a band and in this case I will be forever devoted) 

I really tried to grab Dave Grohl's sweaty outstretched hand on the few occasions that I was less then 5 feet from him but alas it wasn't meant to be. And as a side note, I'm not sure why I always tend to be a magnet for spilled beer at concerts but I am. This tends to make me very sad and sticky. 

And because my mom asked me what a Foo Fighter was I thought I'd include a video for my favorite song on their new album:

Needless to say Wednesday was not my best day. I felt like I had a really bad hang-over. I guess it must have been from all that beer my skin soaked up during the concert. 

Thursday we visited the aquarium. It was far better then the last time I went... something like 4 years ago, I think? We actually spent more time there then we had at the zoo. They have the cutest otter there. I seriously could have watched him all day. 

Saturday & for a few hours on Sunday we visited Mayfest. It was supreme fun. I'm now completely in love with Lisa Loudermilk's art. Too bad I don't have the cash flow to actually purchase any art...

Unless you consider this funky little frog to be art (which I do). I named him Maynard. I've also discovered that his toes are very sharp and can be used as a weapon if needed. Don't ask.

It was a fun week. 

To sum it up: When my grandma asked if we had yet to have any serious blowups my reply was "nothing that going to bed couldn't solve"... Husband's reply? "or me ignoring you until you got over it." He's so sweet.

The return!

Husband is taking the next week off work.
Therefore it's the perfect opportunity to restart juicing. (I can't possibly be bothered to get out of bed at 5:45 to juice)
Oh the glory that is green juice.
I think Husband missed it.
After he chugged his glass he looked over at mine longingly. Naturally I threatened bodily harm if he tried any funny business.
Then I lamented not buying more produce because I could have had another 7 glasses myself...
Good thing the farmers market is tomorrow.
This particular incarnation is romaine lettuce, kale, apples & lemon.
Tomorrow I'm feeling spinach, apples & possibly lemon. I'll keep you posted.




This is from the other night. It was over-flowing with yum. Black beans, sweet potato (from our garden), local spinach, cilantro lime rice, pico, avocado, & cheese.
Husband had shredded chicken on his... Nobody's perfect. ;)

In other news we'll be celebrating 7 years of wedded bliss(ish) on Sunday.
We've come a very long way...

The real evil genius?

Setting: 6am, me still snuggled under the covers, Husband getting ready for work.
He re-enters the bedroom and the following conversation takes place:

Him: Why'd you turn on the iRobot.
Me: *mummble*grumble* I didn't.
Him: Then why is it on?
Me: *gumble*mummble* I don't know.
Him: I wonder if the cat turned it on.
Me: *snuggles down farther under the covers* Go away.

Eventually I hear Husband corner it and turn it off.

The case against the cat is as follows:
Yesterday he started screaming at 5am. When that didn't get him his way (canned food and attention) he decided to up the anty today by turning on the vacuum.

See? Maybe he's the real evil genius of our household.

Buddha would be proud.

Tonight was round 2 of vegan goodness in our household. Husband was thrilled as you can imagine.




The veggies: red onion, broccoli, carrot, sugar snap peas, and garlic.




Then I added chickpeas & brown rice.




Lastly I added some avocado, salt, cayenne pepper, ground flaxseed, & olive oil.

The most important aspect was when husband didn't want the soy ginger sauce because it was already flavorful enough.
That's the best compliment.

(recipe is from Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr)

That evil genius!

I posted the following on Facebook earlier:

"Husband has agreed to eat as much veggie/vegan food as I'm willing to cook. Now I have to cook... the plan has backfired. He is an evil genius."

So here I sit.

A pile of cookbooks stacked next to me on the couch.

A wet cutting board in the kitchen.

Dishes drying.

Hands reeking of cilantro, again.

And I am tired.

Tonight we're going to feast on my first & only successful vegan recipe because I bought more cilantro & green onions at the farmer's market on Saturday. I have no idea why. I just did. Turns out this is a good thing though since Husband has been bugging me to make the dish again anyway. 

Tomorrow I plan to attempt something called the "Buddha Bowl" (Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr) only with sugar snap peas instead of black olives because I still don't like black olives and the snap peas were another bizarre decision I made on Saturday. 

I now have several old salsa jars overflowing with items from the bulk bins and a bowl of chickpeas soaking in the fridge. It's a whole different universe from my Taco Bueno days. Hopefully in a good way.

In the meantime though it would nice to find recipes that don't have a thousand ingredients and more importantly that it contains ingredients that I can pronounce. Also did you know that scallions are the same thing as green onions? I didn't until I googled it. I've been googling a lot lately.

I tried...

Today I tried to give a crap about Husband's new found hobby... Golf. *insert very dramatic eyeroll*
My dislike for sports is well documented but since I like to be included I tried to be a "good sport".
We played mini-golf and visited a hitting range...



Here is what I learned:
• I only enjoy sports when I am winning. I never win.
• I only enjoy mini-golf when there aren't small children close by and they can't hear me telling Husband that I will beat him to death with my club if he keeps laughing.
• I am a far superior putter than Husband and that's sad.
• I think golf clubs are a form of torture since they attempt to take off half my skin whenever I hit.
• Hitting ranges aren't fun when the stuffy Asian guy next to you gets annoyed when you inform your husband that if he doesn't move you can't be held responsive for racking him with his own club.

Well I tried. That has to count for something, right?

Flashback

Anyone else have the urge to pull out your taped recording of "Gangsta's Paradise" and act like a fool?

No?

Just me?

Well then. 

If you need me I'll just be downloading lots of Coolio.

And embarrassing Husband.

The Carnivore does vegan!

I made this last night.

This was yummy.

This also left my hands reeking of cilantro, so much so that anytime my hands were near my face overnight it woke me up, but that's another story.

The point being Husband liked this.

So what is this you ask?

Quinoa salad with black beans & mango from Veganomicon by Moskowitz & Romero

This my friends is a victory.

What meat is this?

A few weeks ago I texted Husband at work to let him know I had pulled his frozen steaks out of the freezer for dinner that night.
That night we start to get ready for dinner and Husband goes to pull his steaks out of the fridge.
The conversation is as follows:
"Um, honey..."
"Yeah?"
"These aren't steaks"
"Oh?"
"They're porkchops"
"Oh, well what did you expect when you married a vegetarian?"
"That you could tell the difference between pork & beef"
"Well in my difference it all looks the same when it's frozen... unless it's chicken. That's easier"

And they lived happily ever after.